When I was a kid, I took an annual summer vacation with my parents and two older siblings to Long Beach Island, on the New Jersey shore. Here’s a snapshot of our car trip down and back: my brother blasts Bruce Springsteen on his Walkman in an effort to drown out the showtunes playing on…

Recently a patient was telling me that she “lost it” on her husband, who failed to empty the dishwasher after she had asked him to do it several times. She screamed, cursed a little, and sent a kitchen towel flying in his general direction. When she started to calm down, she was upset by her…

Recently, I saw the Broadway show Every Brilliant Thing, starring the incomparable Daniel Radcliffe. Radcliffe plays a man whose mother has a longstanding history of depression and suicide attempts. As a child, he starts making a list of every brilliant thing he can think of, from the mundane (“the smell of an old book,” “water…

Want to know how to argue effectively? You’ve probably heard of the “I” statement. It involves expressing displeasure with someone by making a statement starting with “I,” as in, “I feel embarrassed when you leave the room as soon as my parents arrive.”  The “I” statement has become somewhat of a therapeutic cliché, especially when…

Do you often find yourself catastrophizing? That is, do you ask yourself “What If?” questions and assume that the worst possible outcome is bound to occur? This was the case for my patient, Hannah (note: names and details of patients have been changed for privacy reasons). Hannah had a history of “What If?” ing and…

In the past several years, I’ve become a big proponent of watching TV—without a phone nearby—as a strategy for coping with stress. You may be rolling your eyes as you’re reading this (I mean, did you really need someone with a Ph.D. in psychology to tell you to watch TV?). But hear me out. Overwhelmed…

Recently, a patient explained that her parents were coming to town and had volunteered to babysit so that she and her husband could have a night out in the city. She and her husband hadn’t had a date night in literal years and sorely missed their time together. But her momentary excitement about free babysitting…

“What if this pain in my arm means that I have a serious illness?” “What if I fail at my new job?” “What if I said too much at the party and people are talking about me?” If you often find yourself asking “What If?” questions like these, you probably also attempt to seek reassurance…